8.2.09
Love thy neighbor
Until a bare couple of months ago, I felt completely trapped, stuck in the same vicinity as a neighbor whose idea of a good time was dragging (a kickass) stereo system outside into his front yard, and blast it.
Knowing some of Paraguayan culture's finer points of private entertainment, I didn't make much of it, especially knowing he doesn't have friends and still wants to party on a friday or saturday night. But then he started doing this same thing on thursdays, friday and saturday. Then, sometimes he'd add mondays, sometimes tuesdays, sometimes wednesdays, sometimes all of them.
A few weeks of heated and angry discussions followed by apologies (mostly from his side) later and a conversation with an indifferent Cop in front of his house, I told the neighbor he could do whatever the hell he wants to, since there is no use in asking him for this personal favor: to turn his goddamn music down every time he pulls this stunt.
Of course he didn't understand why, since I work with music I must like listening to music, and loud. When I told him I don't like the things he listens to he asked me to give him some music I like, so being your own boss in deciding how loud you want your neighborhood to hear your music was no concept to him either - being completely blind in regards to his own doing.
But that must have been it - someone giving up on him personally - that made him only play music really loud only twice in the past 7 weeks.
And even though I'm not treated to some of his funnier displays of complete drunkenness like yelling at cars that go by fast (because they're going by too fast for him), or yelling at the clouds when it thunders (because he descends from an ape), sometimes I can still hear him yelling faintly from the back of his house or over on one street up from mine.
It's nice to hear the rain fall without having someone ruin it for me.
Knowing some of Paraguayan culture's finer points of private entertainment, I didn't make much of it, especially knowing he doesn't have friends and still wants to party on a friday or saturday night. But then he started doing this same thing on thursdays, friday and saturday. Then, sometimes he'd add mondays, sometimes tuesdays, sometimes wednesdays, sometimes all of them.
A few weeks of heated and angry discussions followed by apologies (mostly from his side) later and a conversation with an indifferent Cop in front of his house, I told the neighbor he could do whatever the hell he wants to, since there is no use in asking him for this personal favor: to turn his goddamn music down every time he pulls this stunt.
Of course he didn't understand why, since I work with music I must like listening to music, and loud. When I told him I don't like the things he listens to he asked me to give him some music I like, so being your own boss in deciding how loud you want your neighborhood to hear your music was no concept to him either - being completely blind in regards to his own doing.
But that must have been it - someone giving up on him personally - that made him only play music really loud only twice in the past 7 weeks.
And even though I'm not treated to some of his funnier displays of complete drunkenness like yelling at cars that go by fast (because they're going by too fast for him), or yelling at the clouds when it thunders (because he descends from an ape), sometimes I can still hear him yelling faintly from the back of his house or over on one street up from mine.
It's nice to hear the rain fall without having someone ruin it for me.
7.2.09
Procrastination is denial
Currently being under the curse/blessing of an unassailable deadline again, I find myself often in "robot mode." It happens when I find something of interest on the internet, which for me is not hard to do, and I noticed I'm under a spell after I realize that I've been sitting in front of the computer mindlessly jumping from one open window to the next, doing all the things I am not supposed to at this particular time.
And this I find fascinating about the brain. It doesn't know when to stop going on autopilot in an effort to deny current physical and emotional stress, it just does it. Not procrastinating goes against the brain's very nature, and it takes some effort to come out of every spell, also with the aid of the brain.
Take this post (and the creation of this blog) for example. I should be doing something else, but subconsciously this seems more important.
Fight brain with brain.
And this I find fascinating about the brain. It doesn't know when to stop going on autopilot in an effort to deny current physical and emotional stress, it just does it. Not procrastinating goes against the brain's very nature, and it takes some effort to come out of every spell, also with the aid of the brain.
Take this post (and the creation of this blog) for example. I should be doing something else, but subconsciously this seems more important.
Fight brain with brain.
3.2.09
Being who I am
Sometimes I wonder if my personality is really my own, or if I'm just a compilation of things I've observed and learned to be. Maybe it's my personality in that I am doing all the compiling of things I like about others that come together uniquely in myself.
1.2.09
The point of this self-refuting exercise
I started 5 or 6 blogs in the last 5 years, of which only one has made it through all the way (meaning containing more than 2 entries). Therefore, I am coming to the conclusion that this blog doesn't exist because I have something meaningful or meaningless to say, but to reinforce my habit of trying things that have failed in the past, over and over again, hoping to make the most worthwhile activity stick.
I'm hoping for this place to be something of a loose cannon, since I personally feel much safer writing things down that I feel than to say them directly to people, especially things that might not go over well in real life conversations.
If I'm a jerk because of it (I'll try not to be), then the blog title will have paid for itself.
I'm hoping for this place to be something of a loose cannon, since I personally feel much safer writing things down that I feel than to say them directly to people, especially things that might not go over well in real life conversations.
If I'm a jerk because of it (I'll try not to be), then the blog title will have paid for itself.
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